Any of you who knows me, knows how much I detest "rules." In the first months of VT there weren't any official rules. And now there are, and over time they have gotten long and detailed and boring. But in the end, they don't really tell a person how to behave, only how not to. So, having a bit of time on my hands today, I have written out some of my own personal "How to win friends at Velvet Thorn" a document of Star's good ol' common sense. I hope it gives you all food for thought!
FOLLOW THE GOLDEN RULE – treat others as you wish them to treat you. Courtesy and politeness are always appreciated!
SAY HI! Don’t be afraid to try to spark up a conversation in local chat by greeting people and joining the chat circle or parties. Submissives please do not IM without asking first; it’s a rule here. If you do get into IMs with someone, don’t be afraid to go for a walk out in the sim for your chat. The chat circle is friendlier when everyone isn’t lost in IMs or is away from their keyboard.
DON’T’ ARGUE AND FALL INTO DRAMA – discussions can be interesting but arguing and fighting are turn-offs for most folks. Should something in the sim get too far out of control, seek help from a staff member wearing a Liaison or Duchess tag.
BE MATURE – Velvet Thorn is an adult sim, we expect adult behavior. That said, we do sometimes break into silliness, but as adults, because who said adults can’t be silly sometimes? It is a lighthearted place full of lighthearted people!
BE HONEST, BE YOURSELF – It is understandable that you do not tell people your exactly location in the world, or details you consider too personal. But you can protect your privacy and still be open and sincere. Please do not lie about your RL gender here.
TAKE AN INTEREST IN OTHERS – encourage them to open up, you might be surprised how many things you have in common that you might not have expected.
RESERVE JUDGMENT AND CRITICISM – VT’ers pride ourselves on our open-mindedness. On issues of kink, please live and let live, your kinks are not the same as everyone else’s and theirs are not yours. The differences are what add spice to the mix!
DON’T GOSSIP – nobody wants their business, pictures, or private conversations passed around. Sharing private IMs or disclosing someone else’s RL info is against the SL Terms Of Service (TOS).
DON’T BOAST – We hear people saying they have been X in RL for X number of years in “the lifestyle” all the time. Those who have been around are a bit jaded about such statements. Relax, it’s ok to be new here, and it IS ok if you are interested but don’t “live” Femdom in your real life. Everyone starts somewhere!
GIVE PEOPLE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT – Many dramas in SL can be avoided by realizing that we are a worldwide virtual world with people speaking many different mother tongues coming together. It is very easy for something to be lost in translation and be understood completely different than it was intended. Senses of humor can be vastly different across cultures.
IF YOU MESS UP, ADMIT AND APOLOGIZE – it just makes life easier for all involved. If you are new, people understand and will forgive. Denial and bluster will not make you any friends.
UNDERSTAND THAT FEMDOM IS A POWER EXCHANGE. We ALL log into SL equals, submissives here at Velvet Thorn are not expected to kneel or submit to just anyone simply because they are submissive and the other person is dominant. Subs are encouraged to have a stake in what happens to them and to give their power over to the dominant of their choice. That said, they are expected to be courteous to everyone and to call the ladies Miss ___ as a simple show of respect. Ladies are expected to respect the submissives, and not to take undue liberties without getting to know the sub first.
