The Velvet Thorn Femdom Community

We are a lighthearted femdom community where we just don't take ourselves too seriously. It's a safe place to explore virtual sexuality, BDSM, femdom / female dominance and male submission. Be sure to read the rules and then come visit us in world!

09 June, 2012


By StarSong Bright – Owner of the Velvet Thorn Femdom in SL

The taboos we learn through our childhood and adolescence can be very inhibiting.  Many people carry a great deal of shame and fear mixed up in their kinks and fetishes.  Second Life allows us to shine a bright light into those dark places.  The level of anonymity, safety and our virtual representations/avatars give us a way to explore the parts of ourselves that we might simply never try in real life.

The rest of this article can be read on the Femdom Community in SL Blog.


Untitled Document
Any of you who knows me, knows how much I detest "rules."  In the first months of VT there weren't any official rules.  And now there are, and over time they have gotten long and detailed and boring.  But in the end, they don't really tell a person how to behave, only how not to.  So, having a bit of time on my hands today, I have written out some of my own personal "How to win friends at Velvet Thorn" a document of Star's good ol' common sense.  I hope it gives you all food for thought!

FOLLOW THE GOLDEN RULE – treat others as you wish them to treat you.  Courtesy and politeness are always appreciated!

SAY HI!  Don’t be afraid to try to spark up a conversation in local chat by greeting people and joining the chat circle or parties. Submissives please do not IM without asking first; it’s a rule here.  If you do get into IMs with someone, don’t be afraid to go for a walk out in the sim for your chat.  The chat circle is friendlier when everyone isn’t lost in IMs or is away from their keyboard.

DON’T’ ARGUE AND FALL INTO DRAMA – discussions can be interesting but arguing and fighting are turn-offs for most folks.  Should something in the sim get too far out of control, seek help from a staff member wearing a Liaison or Duchess tag.

BE MATURE – Velvet Thorn is an adult sim, we expect adult behavior.  That said, we do sometimes break into silliness, but as adults, because who said adults can’t be silly sometimes?  It is a lighthearted place full of lighthearted people!

BE HONEST, BE YOURSELF – It is understandable that you do not tell people your exactly location in the world, or details you consider too personal.  But you can protect your privacy and still be open and sincere.  Please do not lie about your RL gender here.

TAKE AN INTEREST IN OTHERS – encourage them to open up, you might be surprised how many things you have in common that you might not have expected.

RESERVE JUDGMENT AND CRITICISM – VT’ers pride ourselves on our open-mindedness.  On issues of kink, please live and let live, your kinks are not the same as everyone else’s and theirs are not yours.  The differences are what add spice to the mix!

DON’T GOSSIP – nobody wants their business, pictures, or private conversations passed around.  Sharing private IMs or disclosing someone else’s RL info is against the SL Terms Of Service (TOS).

DON’T BOAST – We hear people saying they have been X in RL for X number of years in “the lifestyle” all the time.  Those who have been around are a bit jaded about such statements.  Relax, it’s ok to be new here, and it IS ok if you are interested but don’t “live” Femdom in your real life.  Everyone starts somewhere!

GIVE PEOPLE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT   –  Many dramas in SL can be avoided by realizing that we are a worldwide virtual world with people speaking many different mother tongues coming together.  It is very easy for something to be lost in translation and be understood completely different than it was intended.  Senses of humor can be vastly different across cultures.

IF YOU MESS UP, ADMIT AND APOLOGIZE  –  it just makes life easier for all involved.  If you are new, people understand and will forgive.  Denial and bluster will not make you any friends.

UNDERSTAND THAT FEMDOM IS A POWER EXCHANGE.  We ALL log into SL equals, submissives here at Velvet Thorn are not expected to kneel or submit to just anyone simply because they are submissive and the other person is dominant.  Subs are encouraged to have a stake in what happens to them and to give their power over to the dominant of their choice.  That said, they are expected to be courteous to everyone and to call the ladies Miss ___ as a simple show of respect.  Ladies are expected to respect the submissives, and not to take undue liberties without getting to know the sub first.

07 June, 2012


We had a pool party with a difference yesterday... it had BUBBLES!! Everyone looked yummy in their swimwear, or lack of it ^^ and DJ Tabby played her usual storming set.  The boys' wish for topless or naked dommes was partially granted, and suggestions were made about having a topless party at some point... Have a look to see for yourself what happened:

06 June, 2012

Jubilant Jubilee!

Well, we had more Union Flags than was good for a body... and enough red, white and blue to rival the most ardent 4th July party... and all because Oor Betty has been sat on the same throne for 60 years - not bad going!  DJ Squish played for us, and rocked out the Brit tunes all night. Everyone had a simply spiffing time (one of us literally), and some folks made it as far as the buffet table.  Big thanks too for some proper moshing... *winks*  Have a look for yourself to see what happened:

03 June, 2012

Open Letter to the Velvet Thorn Femdom Community

Dear Thornies and Friends,

On 31 May 2012 I instituted a major change to the Velvet Thorn by creating a non-member area (the mall) and a members-only area (everywhere else).  The Velvet Thorn has been in operation for over four years now and supports over 5000 active members.**  It is a wonderful group and we have been growing hugely with new people coming in at an astounding rate.  Last weekend I counted about a dozen noobs per hour (real noobs under a week old) entering the sim during a peak time.  VT is a having some growing pains, a victim of its own success. Between March 3rd and June 3rd  of this year we have had   7870 UNIQUE AVATARS  land in the fountain at VT (that is different people/avatars, not number of visits).  Our staff and members simply cannot keep up with this many new people streaming into the chat circle.  We have had a serious upswing in nuisance behavior along with all this new traffic.   Everyone has been asking me to *do something* and I have looked at the issues every way I possibly could, trying to decide what is best for the members, the staff, myself and the new people coming in.

Many encouraged me to just eject all noobs less than X days old.  But I simply could not bring myself to do that, after all, *I* fell into a Femdom in my first day or two in SL.  Had I been ejected / banned / turned away the Velvet Thorn might not even exist right now.  Creating the non-member area seemed the only real choice, being new to SL or new to Femdom is not a crime and I do NOT want VT to become elitist, it was never what I wanted but there are no easy ways to deal with the issues we have been having.  Every option was carefully considered, and the tough choice to go with a zoning approach was made.

I am not happy about the way I had to do the division, but simple logistics and layout of the current build made the "in the mall" and "not in the mall" division the most logical for now.  I have added a very informal little seating arrangement in the mall next to the fountain so that non-members are able to hang out, and I encourage all members to take some time out there to meet the new people coming in and help orient them.  I realize that this is not an optimal arrangement but it is only temporary.   The dice games are down there, so I encourage everyone to use them a bit more!

I will be rebuilding the sim this summer as soon as I work out a better arrangement, so that the area open to all will include the mall, university, library, chat area, and an event area.  The members-only area will be about half the sim and will include all of the play areas, a chat lounge, and the wild side event area.

There is a membership fee now of 250 Lindens.   PLEASE NOTE - current members are not affected by this change as you are already a member and do not need to rejoin.    Some have asked about this, questioned the amount.  If we are creating a threshold then that seems a fair price to me, it’s roughly ONE US DOLLAR- less than a cup of coffee for most folks.  I have removed the donation thermometers in the common areas, as the membership fees will go toward sim costs now.  This move is not about making more money and all income in VT goes back to support the sim, the events and tier.

I am asking everyone to PLEASE bear with me as we transition.  I understand the concerns and fears about these changes, but please realize that they were necessary.  Change is never easy but I am confident that these new measures will help us preserve and continue to improve our wonderful community.   I promise you all that I will be doing my utmost to keep VT the lighthearted place that it always has been despite this change.  I welcome constructive suggestions and I am here if you would like to ask me anything directly about the changes.  We could also use some more volunteers to help me and the staff in the in the non-member area until I get things are a bit more streamlined and organized.

Thank you all for your ongoing support!

StarSong Bright
Owner Velvet Thorn Femdom

**Avatars who have not logged in to SL for a long time are removed regularly to keep our group lean and to help improve the group communications.  SL cannot handle groups much bigger than ours, and already we have many people who never get their notices or are unable to use the group chat.  When people cancel accounts LL does not remove them from groups either which causes bloat.  The group would probably be upwards of 8,000 members or more if I didn't do this, but the Velvet Thorn has always been about quality and not quantity.

Sand Everywhere!

We had a bit of a sand dance last night and the Thornies outdid themselves with the Egyptian costumes. Wow, just wow - it's a wonder the sand didn't melt!  DJ Squish entertained us all in his inimitable style, the camels didn't spit on anyone (they did look nervous though), no-one managed to release Imhotep and the cleaners are complaining about some of the naughty boxes, so it must have been a good night.  Have a look at the pics to see what happened, and please make very careful note of there being NO cowbells, not one :P