The Velvet Thorn Femdom Community

We are a lighthearted femdom community where we just don't take ourselves too seriously. It's a safe place to explore virtual sexuality, BDSM, femdom / female dominance and male submission. Be sure to read the rules and then come visit us in world!

12 June, 2010

An Open Letter from the Owners of The Original Femdom Network

An Open Letter from the Owners of The Original Femdom Network,

We are very sad and disappointed to learn of Eva and The Dominion’s departure from our community. We regret that this has been an acrimonious parting for one of the founding members of the Network. Nonetheless, we feel the need to address Eva’s blog posting at in which she explains she left the Network because we did not issue a Network-wide ban of someone at her request.

A Network-wide ban is a very serious measure, one for which there is no appeal. Such a decision risks seriously testing the solidarity of our community because, inevitably, some of our members will be compelled to discipline individuals who may not have done them any harm nor done anything in their presence to merit punishment. We fear that, because of Eva’s regular absences from our group meetings, including both the meeting in which the policy for Network-wide bans was approved and the meeting at which this specific case was discussed, she may have misunderstood the policy and decisions that the members of The Femdom Network agreed to at those meetings.

We are a community of strong, self-sufficient and opinionated women, and the nature of our activities in SL means that strong emotions are often near the surface. Our Network is held together by communication and mutual respect, not by obedience to the demands of a single individual. It was our decision that Network-wide bans would be considered only in the most egregious cases of abuse -- such as credible threats against someone in RL -- and be evaluated on a case-by-case basis. It is not something we do often or lightly, and never without collective discussion. We did, in fact, unanimously ban someone at Eva's request for exactly these sorts of very serious reasons. In this more recent incident, however, it was decided, also unanimously and regrettably in Eva's absence, that the particular individual who had so perturbed her had not acted in a manner that met the standard for such severe punishment.

Nonetheless, the Network members jointly issued a formal warning letter to this individual requesting that he stay well away from Eva and refrain from going to the Dominion as himself or alts. We also informed him that we would closely watch his behavior and that any future infractions would see him banned across all of our sister sims. This was two weeks before Eva departed the Network, and as she notes in her blog post, she has not had any further problem with this person.

Subsequently, in an unrelated incident, one of our Network members reported that an individual had threatened the life of one of her members. This case closely fit the kind of behavior for which we instituted the ban policy, and we have accepted her report, issued a temporary ban, and will discuss the case in depth at our next meeting. Unfortunately, it seems that Eva felt that she was being singled out by having her earlier request turned down.

Simply put, it is not enough to demand that someone be banned. If Eva had the impression that membership in our community meant we would ban anyone we were asked to, we regret that we must inform her that this was simply never the case.

A successful sisterhood runs on open discussion and open decision-making processes. These are among our core values, and we would have been happy to discuss the matter with Eva and give her a chance to convince us of her cause. We are very disappointed that not only did she not attend the meeting to explain her request, she has responded to the decision by not speaking to any of us -- as individuals or as a group -- to resolve the matter. Instead, she altered the permissions of the Femdom group (which was created to allow all of the femdoms to advertise their events), the group, and the Femdom Network Blog on Blogspot. The only notice any of us received of her attitude was a message -- sent out to Dominion members -- that she had decided to leave the Femdom Network. And yet, for all her actions and public denouncement of the Femdom Network, she has not removed herself as an owner of the Femdom Network group, and in fact has indicated that she will not do so.

The Femdom Network was created to bring sim owners together and to empower us all by joining forces. It was never our intent that this would allow any of us to bully others or our expectation that such a division and public display of such would arise from the group we worked so hard to establish and nurture.

We have taken the opportunity created by this unfortunate situation to reflect on our core ideals, which are founded on open communication, respect and democracy. We are more than a network; we are a community, with rich relationships, caring sisters, and commitment to the enhancement of the femdom lifestyle. We have chosen a new name, Femdom Community of SL, which better reflects the harmonious nature of our union of femdom leaders and is inclusive of the many individuals who participate in the broader femdom world in SL.

We wish, despite our disappointment, the best for Eva and her Femdom Network.

Founders of the "Femdom Community in SL"
formerly "The Femdom Network"

New Blog

New FetLife Group: