The Velvet Thorn Femdom Community and Fetish Mall

We are a lighthearted femdom community where we just don't take ourselves too seriously. It's a safe place to explore virtual sexuality, BDSM, femdom / female dominance and male submission. Be sure to read the rules and then come visit us in world!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Cruel Innocence Published in Femdom Magazine

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The story Cruel Innocence, originally told by me in the Velvet Thorn Plaza last year, impromptu to a live audience.  I dusted it off, cleaned it up to proper prose (instead of the chat log) with minimal editing to maintain its original feel.  Here it is for your reading pleasure!

New Prizes for Picks!!!

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I have added new items to the Prize for Picks item givers in the VT Welcome Area.  Hair by yours truely (ok started with a full perm kit but tweaked it so much that shouldn't count lol!)  It's my first try at hair, so be kind.  The Prize for Picks items change daily.  These hair are also available for 25 Lindens at the new VT Store in the mall.


The shoes that were previously only available in the Prize for Picks vendors are also available for individual purchase for 50 Lindens.

These, like the hair come copy, mod, no transfer.  Be SURE to make copies before adjusting if you are new to it.  Just in case.

Monday, September 14, 2009

New Sim Teleporter and Submissive Cuffs with AO

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New Sim Teleporter and Submissive Cuffs with AO

The new teleporter uses the SL map to move you around, so no more sitting on prims that bounce you all over and drop you from the sky. Just click the button to see your destination. Then click the middle picture to open the map (it is preset for the proper location). Just click the teleport button and off you go!

The new Velvet Thorn Cuffs and Animation Overrider are also ready to go. They are for sale for ONE LINDEN to group members (you must be wearing your Velvet Thorn group to buy). The one linden helps me keep track of who got them so i know who to contact for any updates.  The sign does not give out the Capture Game for now, that will be a separate item. The cuffs do NOT require the game in order to work.

The AO poses are a bit mediocre because it is so hard to find good full perms ones. I highly recommend a trip to Abranimations or Vista Animations if you don't already have an AO you like. We will be holding classes periodically to show you how to alter the AO if you don't know already.

Please read the MUST READ file before beginning and report any bugs you find to me immediately. If the cuffs or AO are acting odd, edit the cuff, go to the tools menu and reset it, then remove it and the AO hud and reattach them. This solves most any problem.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

"Werid Science and whatever else you feel like wearing" Saturday Party!

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PARTY!!!   2009-Sept-12
This week's themed party was "Werid Science and whatever else you feel like wearing" *grins*

We had a Smurf, Sponge Bob PJ wearing demons, a werewolf, Duchesses, an Android, Cyborgs, and lots of Latex and much more!

DjGizmo was spinning our tunes and we rockedll!



Alyx, Max and CavemanPARTY!!!   2009-Sept-12

CLASS: Just the Basics with Duchess Jovial

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On 12 Sept Duchess Jovial Denimore gave a class in the basics of BDSM/DS.  It was very well attended, and we were thrilled to see so many new faces.  This information is so important that I am posting the basic information here for anybody who was not able to make it to the class.

~~~~~ What is BDSM? ~~~~~
First I'd like to begin by clarifying what BDSM means.


BDSM: Is a composite acronym for "B&D" (bondage & discipline); "D&S" (dominance & submission); and "S&M" (sadomasochism).

Duchess Jovial teaches the basics of BDSMIt is used to refer to any consensual activities or lifestyles between adults which include some or all of these things.

The term "BDSM" is used in a general sense to describe any situation or practice which includes erotic power exchange, dominance and submission, pain play, bondage, sensation play, or anything related to these.

S/some people call BDSM just SM or D/s for short. Y/you will hear me call it by all three, but it is all the same thing- BDSM.


~~~~ Significance of SCC & RACK ~~~~
In RL and SL, there are two schools of thought in the BDSM community:

The first is SSC, and the second is RACK.

SSC = Safe Sane Consensual & RACK = Risk Aware Consensual Kink
Notice that what we see here is that the main idea in both schools is the fact that everything here is *consensual.*

Consensual means that both the sub and Dominant are fully aware of the risks and of the activities that will take place in any given scene, as well as in the relationship.
In the book “SM 101” by Jay Wiseman he states:

“Consent is one of the most important issues, perhaps the most important issue, in SM. Before you can do something to another person, they must agree. Touching another person, or even their clothing, without their consent, regardless of the degree of force used - even its it’s minimal - is a crime. Don’t do it.

...Also, intoxicated or unconscious persons cannot consent. If you give somebody drugs or alcohol to “short-circuit” their objection, you could face rape charges.

...Finally, a person too feeble-minded or senile to understand what is happening cannot meaningfully consent. Again, having sex with them is rape.”

Jay Wiseman then explains a little more about consent and gives a few examples:
“Don’t extort or manipulate consent. Don’t use unfair pressure to get it. Only accept freely given consent. Examples of unfairly obtained consent include the threat of withdrawing any type of support - such as shelter - if the other person is not willing.

I know of one “dominant” who told his submissives they could refuse to obey, but if they did that ended their relationship. They had to pack and immediately leave. How contemptible! (This guys had a hard time keeping submissives. I can imagine why.)

Also, the approach of “If you really love me, you’d do SM with me” is reprehensible, perhaps especially if you’re trying to persuade he other person to be submissive. If *you* really loved *them* you wouldn’t treat them in such an unfair way, and I hope they’re smart enough to realize that.

Informed consent includes an understanding about limits, how much or how little experience both parties have, how long the session will last, safety measure, and what specific acts will or won’t occur.”
Authors of ‘When Someone You Love is Kinky,’ Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Lizt share their opinion on consent:

“We have said before that we believe that true consent in all matters sexual
involves an active collaboration by everyone involved for the pleasure and well-being of everybody.
That means consent freely and happily given, not by rape or bullying or
emotional black mail (tactics which are unfortunatly well-known in the world of poeple vastly more conservative than we).

For us, because we explore in areas that carry so much potential risk, consent is sacred.”


~~~~The SCC and RACK Distinction ~~~~
The main idea that separates SCC risks from RACK risks is that RACK risks, of the emotional, mental and physical health are much, much larger.

RACK activities are also called Edge Play, Hard Play or Mind Play.

Examples of Edge Play are (but not limited to) the following: Asphyxiation, Bestiality, Blade, Bloodletting, Branding, Breath Control, Caning, Chastity Belts, Cropping, Electro-torture, Enema, Fire & Ice, Fisting - Doing, Fisting - Receiving, Mutilation, Pain, Scat, Sensory Deprivation, Snuff, Watersports
Can doing these Edge Play activities harm U/us? Of course!

Class:  the basics of BDSMSince I have been in SL, there have been many times I have had people come to me upset, angry, feeling betrayed (and rightfully so), feeling unsafe and even feeling like they would leave BDSM in SL because their Dommes did some of these activities to them without them knowing what it was about. They where unexpectedly exposed to these actitvies.  In these cases then, consent was not actively given, right? And how can anyone give consent on what they do not expect?

Now, look at some SSC activities (again not limited to the following) which involve the softer end of the BDSM spectrum:

Anal Sex, Biting, Flogging, Hair pulling, Hot Wax, Kissing, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Rimming, Slapping, Spanking, Tickling, Toys, Vanilla Sex, Wrestling

Doing these activities can cause damage to the unsuspecting submissive. All of these activities should not be done until the dominant is clear consent has been given either through communication or discussion of limits.


~~~~ How do W/we SCC & RACK effectively? ~~~~
Communication!

Communication is vital in all aspects of the D/s relationship.

However there are some very important things you need to communicate honestly and immediatly:
Whether you are here for casual play times with a random people, or if you are looking for a long term relationship.

Be honest, be direct and upfront about such things right away.


~~~~ 3 Limits Types ~~~~
Exchanging Limit cards and discussing Limits is very important.
Limits come in 3 types.

  • HARD LIMITS
  • SOFT LIMITS
  • MUST HAVE LIMITS

Hard limits:
These belong to the submissive/bottom. Hard limits are things a sub will not do. They are not to be pushed, nudged or tweaked in any way by the dominant/Top at any time!

Soft limits:
Soft limits are activities that the sub may not have experience in, may not like it a lot, may feel very vulnerable, etc.

Generally, the submisive/bottom will allow these activities to take place only at the right time, with the right person, at the right moment for him with the guidance and care of the right person.

Must Have limits:
These are things that you must have within a relationship. Must have limits are things that must be present in a relationship for it to work.

Things that are important for you as a sub in order for the relationship to be fulfilling.
So, if you haven’t thought about your limits, please do so... and Dominants, remember to know and respect hard limits fully and play slowly/cautiosly with those softer limits.


~~~~ Green, Yellow, Red! ~~~
Class:  the basics of BDSMThe other thing people need to get across is their “Safeword.”

The purpose of the safeword is to stop play NOW and is used when the sub feels he no longer consents to what is going on.

If the submissive/bottom uses their safeword, the Dominant respects the safeword and stops play immediately.

You must respect that and it is not okay to berate the sub for using the safe word, call them names, or otherwise patronize them.

Instead you have the responsibility to provide a safe place, in IM or alone in a sim some place to allow the sub to talk about why he used the safe word.

If the sub doesn’t want to talk about why he used the safe word, it is not okay for you to pressure him to do so. Give the sub the space he needs and when he is ready he can speak if he chooses.

Sometimes the safe word can be used as a pause and take a brief break- the sub may need time to adjust or cope with the intensity of what is going on. It doesn't mean the scene has to end.
It should be very clear if the sub needs to stop completely and for good, but if you are not sure then ask (communicate!) but do not pressure the sub or try to manipulate him, give him guilt trips or call him names, belittle him so he will keep playing with you.

This is unacceptable and you should never do this, even if your ego is hurt or you are ready to cum or its the best scene you've ever done- it is never, ever okay.

Your responsibility is to the sub and the sub’s safety at all times. Respect that, always.
The most common STOP safeword is “Red.”

The sub can also use “Yellow” if he feels the activity needs to slow down and “Green” to say “yes, yes, YES, give me MORE!”


~~~~ Aftercare ~~~~
Finally, when the scene is over provide aftercare. Tell the sub you are proud/thank them/pat on the head/etc. Let the know they did well.

Even better would be to tell them exactly what they did well to encourage them to do it again for you if you choose to play with the sub again.

Feedback is important. It helps them build confidence thus helping them develop to a better sub, better at serving the needs of Dommes.

Don’t ever just tp out or log off without providing aftercare to the sub who just spent his time trying to please you and amuse you.

If you do not have time to give 4 subs some aftercare then do not play with 4 subs all at one time.
Another example: Do not have them get on a pole and emote for you then just get up and go without some sort of aftercare.

If YOU gave them the order then YOU are the one responsible for that sub. Tell the sub in IM that you appreciate what they have done/good job/you did very well today/etc.

Another example: Don't tell the sub to take off his shirt and then a few minutes later just leave. This is again not okay to do.

Do not play/use/order around a sub unless you have the time to take the responsibility of his welfare.
And again from beginning to end, ask about limits, talk about the safe word, provide aftercare when done.

~~~~ Other Important Things ~~~~
Here is an excellent and easy to remember common sence list called “Essential Guidelines in the BDSM Scene.” All of these apply to both subs and Dommes:
☞Avoid making assumptions
☞Be honest
☞Be self aware: know your own wants, needs, and limitations.
☞Don't touch someone else's property without permission -- whether it is a toy or a person
☞Be tolerant: Respect other people, Respect other people's relationships, Respect other people's sexuality, Respect other people's gender identification
☞Be polite: Say "please" and "thank you" and apologize when you should.
☞Dominant does not mean domineering
☞Submissive does not mean doormat
☞Negotiate play and play consensually
☞Don't scare the vanillas (be respectful- remember consent here, if a vanilla person doesn’t want to know what Y/you do, then respect those person’s limits too!)
☞The actions of the submissive or slave reflect on the dominant.
☞The choice of dominant reflects on the taste and values of the submissive.

~~~~ Summary of the ABCs of BDSM ~~~~
So to recap what W/we have gone over:

Whether you SCC or RACK or any other way you choose to explore BDSM remember CONSENT.
COMMUNICATE directly and honestly from the very beggining.

Know Y/your limits, fill out your own Limit Card and always always talk about Y/your limits BEFORE you play or begin a relationship. Remember, Y/you don’t want to make the mistake (which happens too often in SL) of staring a relationship to find out a few days or weeks later that the two of you are not compatible/don’t want the same things/share the same goals.

Know your SAFEWORD, communicate it with the person(s) you are with and use it responsibly.
Provide AFTERCARE and remember that aftercare goes both ways from sub to Domme and Domme to sub. It is not only submissives who need reassurance.

Great! Thank you A/all for attending today’s class. Be well, be safe and enjoy Y/yourselves.



written by Jovial Denimore

Naughty Boys!

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One Naughty Boy! The Greek events are on, some of the pledges have been in high spirits and have gotten a bit carried away. I know your tricks and that special little quest to get punished. Careful what you wish for boys hehehe! My inventory is large, and my imagination... well *giggles* see for yourself.One Naughty Boy!